Hosting A Neuro-Affirming Holiday Event

The holidays are a time for celebration, connection, and merriment. Whether it be with family, friends, coworkers, or new acquaintances, this time of year is full of interactions. Just as festive gatherings can bring joy and connection, they can also be overwhelming with social expectations, changes in routine, and heightened sensory stimuli. For those hosting celebrations, taking some intentional steps to create a neuroinclusive environment can ensure your gathering is welcoming and comfortable for everyone.

Communicate in Advance
Share clear communication about your event such as time, location, expected duration, full attendee list, and planned activities. Including the type of gathering it is, such as an open house, cocktail, dinner, etc., allows people to plan for the experience. Having language on invitations encouraging attendees to stay for the length they are comfortable with, gives a socially appropriate exit option. Consider creating a schedule for the order and timing of event activities and sharing it with your guests ahead of time will help with mental and emotional preparedness.

Sensory Mindfulness
When in the planning phase of a gathering, consider the ambiance. Are there bright lights, scented candles, music, or background noise? Is there a dress code that could be uncomfortable for an attendee? These things may contribute to overstimulation. Not everyone thrives in large gatherings or high-energy environments.

Reflection Zone
Having a designated quiet space or set times for breaks to escape overstimulation from lights, scents, and social pressure is a great way to show compassion and inclusion. Everyone can benefit from sensory breaks, and this can even be built into the theme of your gathering. Featuring a mindfulness zone where guests can quietly journal about what they are thankful for, or work on a shared piece of art about future goals can lessen stigma or shame for those needing to regulate. Fidgets are great to have lying around spaces to pick up and use when needed, and they make great party favors!

Sensory Hour
If planning an open house or multi-hour event, consider building a time block that is more sensory-friendly and including that information on the invitation. This block of time might feature low light, no music, a relaxed dress code, and fragrance-free time so neurodivergent guests with sensory needs can plan to pop by within that window.

Social Expectations
Holiday rituals and traditions can be uncomfortable for neurodivergents. On-the-spot thinking and social demands resulting from certain games or table conversations can increase anxiety and even cause meltdowns or shutdowns. Make participation optional in games or gift exchanges. Invite individuals into conversations and allow for disengagement without explanation.

Food Options
If a gathering includes food, consider having options for those with food sensitivities, allergies, food aversions, or strong preferences to help everyone feel included.
Holidays are often filled with special foods not typically eaten throughout the year and may be on the ‘avoid’ list for a neurodivergent individual. While most attendees will be excited to try the fancy hors d'oeuvre or entrees, having simple plain options, ensures all guests are accommodated. Think buttered noodles, grilled chicken, or even pigs n’ a blanket. For buffet-style events, consider labeling the dishes so guests can easily see their options. To take planning a step further, you might include a “comfort food” preference field in your digital RSVP to accommodate everyone's tastes.

Flexibility and Celebration of Individuals
Even with the best of intentions and planning, unforeseen challenges occur. Be ready to adapt and shift plans. Every guest brings a unique contribution to gatherings. Identifying and incorporating new inclusive traditions or activities will allow everyone to share their interests and talents. Maybe this year’s tradition will include offering a hybrid option for friends and family who desperately want to connect but are overwhelmed by the thought of getting together.

Hosting with a neuroinclusive plan in mind not only makes the holidays more enjoyable for neurodivergent individuals but also creates a richer and more compassionate environment for all guests. By taking the time to consider diverse needs, you express kindness, understanding, and community that makes the season truly special.

This holiday season let’s create spaces where everyone feels they belong. After all, the best gift you can give is the gift of inclusion and we can all be thankful for that.

Happy Neuroinclusive Hosting!

Candace Weaver-Dowds, LMSW
Manager, Strategic Initiatives